Communication is the foundation of every healthy marriage, but not just communication, good, strong, and open communication. Here are some ways to help facilitate healthy communication between you and your spouse.
Communication is not always easy to have with a person if you are feeling angry or resentful about an issue. And, in every marriage, many issues are bound to come up and arguments are destined to happen. There will be times when you two do not agree about anything and when the two of you find that it is difficult to even be in the same room with one another.
You might get so angry with each other that the only words you can think to say are negative, critical, and harsh words. That is not an example of good communication, though you might be saying what you mean and saying what you feel. In fact, it is a proven fact that when harsh words are said, it takes a lot of effort to take them back and fix the damage that they have caused. That is why you want to make sure that you try to avoid communicating hateful statements and sentiments, as those are things that will never disappear once you have said them.
So, after a fight, do not communicate right away. If you are angry or feeling highly volatile and emotional, the best thing you can do is step away from the situation and try to walk away for a while, clear your head, leave the house, call a time out, anything to keep from saying extremely hurtful things that both of you will come to regret. It is important to express some emotions to one another, but know when to draw a line and stop.
Be aware that all that you say during a fight will create a lasting impression and will remembered no matter how many times you say you did not mean it. Every angry statement always carries a kernel of truth and your partner will not forget the words that you say in your moment of rage. So, when you feel yourself approaching that breaking point, simply slip away and decide to take a break until you are ready to calmly talk again. While you are clearing your head, think about the issues if you can, or just empty your mind and take deep breaths to calm yourself till you can rationally look at the situation.
When you are ready, then it is time to communicate. It is important to listen to the person and hear their point of view and important that the person allows you to explain your point of view, as well. If you feel as though no matter what you say you are not being heard, you have to let the person know that they are not listening because then the communication cannot work. It is a two way street and both people need to listen to each other, as it is a sign of mutual respect and understanding.
Sometimes it is hard to speak the things that are bothering you and so you can make a list of the problems you believe you are having and let the other person make a list, as well, and both of you must listen to each other recite the lists or exchange lists and read them together. No matter how you do it, just make sure that both of you get to have a say because every issue has two sides and do not ever try to overrule the other person’s perspectiveFree Articles, no matter how ridiculous you might perceive it in your state of mind.